Without Forethought
by White Belt Writer
Summary: "'Out of the few completely moronic, idiotic, and imbecilic things I have ever done in my life, this one buys the cake,' Maura thought dejectedly as she paced her bedroom." Maura does something impulsively and the consequences have drastic results. RIZZLES


**Forethought **(noun): a careful consideration of what will be necessary or may happen in the future.

**Impulse** (noun): a sudden strong and unreflective urge or desire to act; to perform _without forethought__._

* * *

'_Out of the few completely moronic, idiotic, and imbecilic things I have ever done in my life, this one buys the cake,'_ Maura thought dejectedly as she paced her bedroom.

'_Or…was it, "takes" the cake?'_ she paused momentarily to try and recall the proper saying before making a sound of frustration and continuing her frantic pacing.

"_Oh my God_, Maura, what have you done?" the ME asked herself, tears immediately springing to her eyes because she knew _exactly_ what it was she had done.

And worse: she knew exactly whom she had done it to.

* * *

It had just been a "normal" day for the BPD; Maura had helped the team track down the murderer of their latest case and had tagged along to see him apprehended.

She had waited outside, next to Jane's car, whilst she and the rest of team, along with a few SWAT members, stormed the grungy apartment building that their perp called home. Jane had given her one last smirk-full glance before ducking inside the building; vest on and gun drawn.

And so Maura waited. She wasn't nervous; no more than usual at least; the apartment building was empty, making it just the perp against Boston's finest. He wouldn't stand a chance.

One lowly man, who hadn't even finish middle school, couldn't beat them. Could not, in a million years, beat _Jane_.

No.

He couldn't.

_But a bomb could._

She had been watching the building when all of the windows on a single floor suddenly blew out and scattered glass and debris all over the street below. Maura had ducked and covered her head instinctively; and when she raised her eyes back up the brick wall, her worst fears were realized.

The floor that had blown up, was the one their perp lived on.

Where the team had been sent.

Where Jane-

"JANE!" Maura cried, staring at the now flame filled windows even as her feet carried her across the street towards the building's steps.

She had just touched the first steps when a pair of strong arms wrapped themselves around her middle and hauled her away from the burning building. Maura thrashed as hard she could, beating and kicking whoever held her, all while crying out for Jane. _Her_ Jane.

"Maura-Maura calm down!" a voice the ME dimly recognized as Frankie's said, but she was too focused on the building to really hear him; the building that Jane had walked into: the building that had blown up.

That had blown up with Jane-

"_Nooooo-ho-ho-ho,"_ Maura wailed as her legs finally gave out and she crumbled, with only Frankie's arms keeping her from dropping onto the pavement like a rock.

Even as her eyes filled with tears that subsequently ran down her face in rivulets, Maura stilled stared at the floor where she knew Jane had gone. And where she was now just… she squeezed her eyes shut and wailed even louder, sounding like the mythological banshee.

Even in the midst of her grief, and really what else could she call it, Maura was vaguely aware of everything that was going on around her; she could feel the Rizzoli middle-child sitting right behind her rocking them both gently: she could smell the smoke from the fire that seemed to be contained only in the murderer's former apartment, now blown to bits: she could hear sirens as the fire trucks drew closer-

_Maura_

Oh god, she could imagine Jane's voice calling her name.

Maura

Was it possible for the mind to fracture so completely this soon after a traumatic event?

"_Maura! Mau~ra!"_

Wait; that wasn't her psyche talking; that was really-

"JANE!"

Sure enough, Jane emerged from the alley next to the building, she and Frost carrying a limping Korsak between them. The brunette's head whipped around at her voice and in an instant, brown eyes connected with hazel and seemed to shine with relief.

Saying a few words to Frost whilst barely turning her head, Jane helped hand Korsak off to another officer before moving as quickly as she could to where Maura and Frankie were rising up from their spot on the ground. As the detective wove her way through the throng of people between them, the ME's eyes roved over her body; taking in very detail that she could.

She was covered in dirt and soot and some of her hair had been pulled out of her ponytail: there was a tear in her pants below her left knee and she seemed to be limping slightly on it the same leg: most likely a bruised tibia. Her face and bare arms bore a few superficial lacerations and it appeared a contusion was already beginning to form on her left temple. Aside from that, she seemed fine.

She was _fine_.

_She was-_

Maura stepped up to Jane when she drew near enough and slapped her hard across her face: the loud _'thwack'_ seeming to echo around the street, if not the block.

The detective staggered slightly from the sudden blow, her face turned away from the force of it, before she slowly turned it back and looked at the now quaking ME; completely speechless.

Eye's blazing with fury, Maura stabbed her finger at Jane and growled, _"How dare you!"_

Jane's mouth opened to try and say something, but the doctor cut her off.

"How dare you go up into a building, onto a floor, that just _blew up_, make me think that I'd lost you forever, and then just pop up out of nowhere and come _skipping_ over like it's _no big deal?_"

The detective tried to speak again, tried to step closer to her, but Maura shoved her back. In the back of her head, she knew she was being irrational and unfair; but her previous grief was overruling her normal thought process and all she could feel was anger.

"Do you know what I thought?" she accused, her voice rising," When I saw those windows blow out? I thought you were _gone_, Jane! _Gone!_ I thought I had lost you forever! I thought-I thought that I would never see your face again except as another body on my autopsy table! Do you have any idea I scared I was? How _petrified?_ I thought I'd lost you and I never-I never got to-_to_-" she stopped and covered her mouth as her grief consumed her again, her body bowing over with anguish.

After a few seconds Maura felt two hands on her shoulder and she looked up to see Jane standing right in front of her, looking like a kicked puppy. The ME allowed herself to be pulled into the woman's chest by the brunette's strong arms as more sobs racked her body.

They stayed like that as the fire engines finally arrived and began working to put out the flames; Jane swayed them back and forth almost lazily while she mumbled soothing things into Maura's ear and rubbed circles on her back.

The ME leaned back what felt like hours later and took the detective's face between her two hands. Her hazel eyes scoured the tanned and sooty face, picking out new minor lacerations and the red mark from where her hand had made contact. Maura looked into her favorite pair of chocolate brown eyes; saw nothing but repentance-

And drew Jane's face forward for a long, hard kiss. Jane might've made a sound but the ME didn't comprehend it; she was too focused on the kiss.

…On the mouth….

-Of her _best friend_.

The implications of what she had just done hit Maura like a semi-truck and she pulled back with an "Oh god!"

Seeing her _friend_ once again stunned speechless, the ME jerked herself out of the detective's grip and practically sprinted back to Jane's car. Before the detective snapped out of whatever state she was in, Maura started it up and peeled out just as the beat cops finished setting up roadblocks.

She had driven like a maniac until Maura found herself back at home. She'd then dashed up her walkway and unlocked her door, before slamming it shut behind her and sliding down it as the tears once again began to flow.

* * *

That had been several hours ago; Maura had spent a good amount of time just sitting and crying before finally getting up, getting herself (several) glasses of wine, and began to think about what she had done.

Which somehow led to her pacing the floor of her bedroom while Bass watched, acting as a willing ear for her problem.

"-I can't believe I did that, Bass!" she said as she continued pacing. "I know I've told you about how I feel about Jane but thinking things and doing them are two different things!"

"Jane's as straight as they come-when she's not undercover-and would never in a million years approve of me, just, _kissing_ her like that!" She groaned, "Which is why I had decided to never,_ ever_, do it-_and yet_- what do I do? I kiss her!"

The tortoise blinked.

"I couldn't _help it_, Bass! I thought I would never see her again! I thought I'd lost her in that explosion!" She covered her face with her hands, feeling more tears coming.

"-And now I've really lost her; all because I got carried away."

She plunked down gracelessly onto her bed.

"Oh Bass," her tear-filled voice said, "What am I going to do?"

Bass nibbled on his lettuce leaf-

And the doorbell rang.

_Ding-dong_

Maura jerked at the sound. There was only one person it could be and she wasn't sure whether she was happy or terrified that they were here.

"-Maura?"

Hearing Jane's voice call faintly from the front of the house only caused the ME's heart rate to increase even more as she debated on whether or not to answer. On the one hand, Jane knew she was here; her unmarked was here and Maura's car was still at the precinct; not to mention her lights were on; so really there was no way she could deny she was home. On the other hand-

She really, _really,_ didn't want to face Jane right now.

'_Then again, I don't really have to,'_ Maura thought. _'I locked the door when I got home and Jane's copy of my house key is on her key-ring, which is on my kitchen count-'_

She heard the front door open with a creak and heard voices waft from her foyer.

"-Thanks for letting me in, Ma, I got it from here."

"Now Janie, I don't know what's going on but you better be nice to Maura!"

"_Shit!"_ the ME quietly gasped; she'd forgotten that she'd also given Angela a key since she was staying in her guesthouse.

"-be fine, Ma! Just, go home with Frankie, will ya?" Maura just barely heard Mrs. Rizzoli's reply before she heard the door slam and knew that Jane was coming.

For _her_.

Panicking as a pair of black boots made their way through the house with their owner calling her name, Maura looked frantically around her room before diving into her master bathroom and locking the door behind her.

She began pacing again in the small space as she bit her hand trying to calm down: _freezing_ like a deer in headlights when she hears a knock on her bedroom door.

"Maura? Maura, you in there?" Jane's voice calls before the bedroom door opens.

The doctor begins to hyperventilate as she hears Jane enter the room. Her boots move a few steps before stopping and Maura can just see Jane looking over her room like she would a crime scene: trying to take everything in and figure out what she needs to know.

Maura knows she'll noticed the empty wineglass on her bed stand and connect it with the open bottle she no doubt saw during her sweep of the kitchen. She knows Jane will see where the ME had sat down on the bed and left it's normally pristine cover wrinkled. She'll even notice Bass in the corner eating his dinner, because that's just how thorough she is.

And Maura knows that Jane will put all the pieces together and-

_Knock-knock_

_-And_ realize that she's hiding in the bathroom like a teenager.

"Maura? Can I come in?"

The blonde bit her lip; childishly resolute not to say anything even though she knows she's caught.

"I know you're in there," Jane's gravelly voice quietly said, "So you might as well answer."

"…Go away Jane," Maura groaned as her resolve crumbled and she turns away from the door.

She hears rather than sees the handle jiggle and know that Jane is trying to open the door.

"Maura," the unusually calm voice states, "Please let me in. I just wanna talk."

The ME squeezes her eyes shut and kneels onto the ground.

"…I-I can't, Jane," she lamented as new tears fell.

"Why can't you?" Jane's voice asked with a streak of worry in it.

"I-I don't want to-to lose you!" the normally composed doctor stuttered and sniffled.

"…How in the world does _'letting me in'_ equal _'losing me'_?" God, Maura can practically hear Jane's eyebrow inch upwards.

"_Because,_" Maura sobbed, "You're going to-to come in and say we can't be-be friends any-anymore!"

"…Okay! Now you've _really_ lost me!" Jane said, clearly exasperated, "Why would I say that?"

"Because I _kissed_ you!"

"-_Yeah_-about that! What's the deal? First you slap me then you kiss me-_what gives?!_" Jane's patience had evidently run out and she began tugging hard on the doorknob.

"I couldn't help it! I'm-I'm-"

"You're _what_, Maura?!"

"I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU, OKAY?" Maura yelled back through the door before she broke down crying again.

It was quiet and still on the other side of the door for several moments until the detective quietly said, "…What?"

The blonde woman sniffled, collected herself as best she could, and just as quietly replied, "I-I said, 'I'm in love with you', and I am. I-I have been, for a very long time."

More silence. Maura opened her eyes and turned towards the door, as if doing so would allow her to see Jane.

After an eternity she finally heard the brunette speak.

"Please open the door, Maura."

The ME could not for the life of her tell what Jane was thinking at that moment from her voice, as flat and as quiet as it was, but stood up and moved to the door anyway; resigned to whatever fate awaited her beyond the door; smirking slightly as the story _'The Lady or The Tiger'_ rose unbidden to the front of her mind.

'_I wonder which one I'll get,'_ she wondered as she unlocked and opened the bathroom door.

Pulling it open, she is met, unsurprisingly, with the sight of Jane. It's clear she's seen medical help since she last saw her; her cuts have been cleaned and at some point she got a shower and a fresh set of clothes; a result of her mother's nagging, no doubt. The contusion Maura noted earlier has since turned a lovely purple that would definitely get darker before it got lighter, but the ME barely paid a second glance to it.

She was more focused on Jane's expression.

Or namely, lack thereof.

The detective's face was blank, if a little wide-eyed, as she took in the doctor's no doubt horrendous appearance. Maura hadn't bothered to change or freshen up since she had returned home, and thus her clothes were still covered with dust from the blast and soot from Jane's earlier hug.

Not to mention her face was undoubtedly red, streaky, and puffy from so much crying.

They both stood there for a few moments: Maura quietly sniffling and Jane just plain quiet.

After yet another eternity, Jane said, "You kissed me."

Maura swallowed and said, "Yes."

"So you love me?"

The blonde could only nod; terror what would happen next rendering her completely mute.

Jane's lips form a hard line as she shook her head slowly, her eyes tearing up but never leaving Maura's. "Damn it, Maura," she groused.

Tears fell from the doctor's eyes again.

"I'm so sorry Jane! I never meant-" she reply was cut off as Jane crossed the space left between them and crushed her lips against Maura's, her hands placing themselves on her face just like the doctor had placed hers earlier upon the detective's.

The ME let out a small squeak in surprise before she melted into the kiss, sneaking her hands between the two of them and dragging Jane even closer after grabbing fistfuls of her shirt. Jane moaned as the action caused their fronts to rub against eachother and Maura moaned along with her.

To her eternal annoyance, they had to pull apart in order to take in more oxygen and the blonde's hormones took the opportunity to cause her to cry some more and bury her face into her detective's neck. Jane was shocked at the new slough of tears, but adapted quickly and pulled Maura even tighter against her; repeating her earlier actions of rubbing, swaying, and soothing.

Hiccupping from so much crying, the blonde leaned back and asked, "Wh-_hic_-why?"

Jane blinked at her. "Can you be a _tiny_ bit more specific? We're not all geniuses."

Chuckling even as she sniffled, Maura regain a sliver of composure and tried again. "Why did you kiss me?" at the brunette's quirked eyebrow, the doctor quickly amended, "Not-not that I mind! It-it was a very nice kiss; your lips are a lot softer than they look-not to say that they don't look soft to begin with, but as soft as they normally look they're surprisingly much, much sof-terh!" Said lips were once again used to quickly cut off Maura's rambling; not that she minded.

Jane broke it off this time with a chuckle and a peck to Maura's nose. "Okay, I get it; I've got soft lips. Now: do you think you can stand there for two minutes and listen: no running, no crying, no rambling: just listening. Okay?"

Maura looked at Jane for a second before giving a quick nod.

"Good. Good: okay-_uh_…" now that she actually had her doctor's attention, Jane found herself a little nervous. "Um…maybe we should sit down." She said as she guided the two of them over to Maura's bed.

Once seated facing eachother, she cleared her throat and tried again.

"When uh-when we went up to get the jackass, we had to break down the door to get in. He put up quite a fight but we realized it wasn't because he was resisting arrest; it was because he was stalling. He-he'd made a makeshift bomb and it was about to blow. Frost, Korsak and I were on the far side of the room; SWATs were near the door. When we realized there was a bomb, we yelled for everyone to get out. Bastard was a hoarder so we didn't have time to make it to the door, so we took the-the fire escape. Frost went out first, then me, then Korsak. Korsak was halfway out when the damn thing blew and he practically flew into me; blocked me from most of the blast but still made me bang myself against the damn escape," at this Jane began to absently rub her left leg before Maura reached out and placed her hand over hers.

Smiling down at their hands the detective continued. "We worked our way down the escape fast as we could, but with Korsak hurt, it was kinda slow," Jane swallowed hard, "We-we were halfway down when we heard someone screaming. It uh, it was kinda hard to hear over the roar of the flames but I… I eventually recognized the voice." Jane looked up into the blonde's eyes.

"It was your voice. Screaming out my name. I couldn't-I couldn't see you and I thought that, that somehow you'd been hurt by the explosion," Jane's eyes began to tear up and she rubbed at them stubbornly, "So I started calling for you and tried to get Korsak and Frost to move faster. We-we hit the ground and I practically dragged him single-handedly to the alley, yelling for you until you answered."

Jane was gripping Maura's hand so hard it almost hurt, and the blonde had started sniffling again, but Maura didn't care. At this point they were both sniffling.

"You answered and I looked over and…I didn't realize how scared I'd been for you until I saw you sitting in the middle of the street," she rubbed her nose with the back of her free hand, "I handed Korsak off to another officer and ran over to you as fast as I could, and then-"

"And then I slapped you," Maura mumbled glumly, her guilt for her actions returning.

"Yeah-nice hit by the way; really stung," Jane joked.

Maura opened her mouth to apologize, but the detective cut her off by gently slapping her hand over her mouth.

"Uh-uh, _no!_ No apologies; I'm not done yet! You can apologize when I'm finished. Got it?" The doctor nodded and Jane removed her hand. "Good."

"So, like I was saying, you slapped me, which startled me more than anything, and then you started yelling about 'how-dare-you' and whatnot, and I realized a few things." Maura cocked her head, wondering what the things were.

Jane didn't let her wonder for long.

"I realized that one: as scared as I had been for you on the street, you had been ten times as scared for me in the building. And two…" the brunette paused and bit her lip, looking down at their hands again.

After a few moments of waiting, Maura pressed, "And _two_…?"

Taking a deep breath, the detective looked up again and stated boldly, "And two; I realized that I never wanted to make you that scared again. Which-actually-led to a third realization."

The doctor's heart sped up. "Which was?"

Brown eyes looked into hazel and said, "That I love you. And if you had stuck around after that sucker-punch of a kiss, I would've told you that; but you didn't. You ran away. From _me_." Now the chocolate orbs looked hurt and Maura flinched at the pain she saw there; pain _she_ had inflicted.

For the umpteenth time that day, Maura acted without thinking; she leaned forward and wrapped Jane into the biggest hug she could muster, knocking the detective flat onto her back; mindlessly apologizing again and again for her stupidity.

"I am _so_ sorry Jane," she mumbled into her neck, "So very, very sorry!" Damn it! Could she not go five minutes without crying today?

Jane wrapped her right arm around the blonde's middle while her left hand dragged itself gently through Maura's curls, causing her to moan quietly.

"Shh-shh, it's okay Maura. It's oka-"

"No it is not okay!" the doctor snapped her head up to glare at the brunette through tear filled eyes.

"Leaving you standing in the middle of the street was not okay! I didn't even fully check your injuries. Which reminds me, did you get a CT scan, because that bruise on your temple suggests that you hit your head rather hard and it's possible that you have internal bleeding which is potentially-"

Once again, Jane interrupted Maura by kissing her soundly, having decided that her new favorite noise by Maura is the one she makes when being kissed.

After a few seconds, Maura pulled away and mock-glared, "Are you going to do that every time you want me to shut up?"

"Yes," Jane smirked.

"Good," Maura replied as she restarted the kiss. She molded her lips against Jane's, falling in love with the sound the brunette made when she dragged her fingers through her tangled hair.

Maura gasped when she felt the arm Jane had around her waist drop down to rub her rear and the detective took the opportunity to insert her tongue into the blonde's mouth. The doctor reciprocated in kind and they were soon battling for dominance. Maura was winning until Jane suddenly pulled her head back and flipped them over; hovering over the doctor with a predatory look in her eye.

Dropping down, the brunette began to ravish Maura's neck, alternating between kisses, bites, sucks, and licks, covering every square inch she could get at. Her hands in the meantime spent their time idly gliding up and down the doctor's sides, as if trying to memorize her body through her clothes.

Finally Jane worked herself up to Maura's ear, and in the deliciously alto voice the blonde loved so much, said, "Say it," as she slid her good leg up in between Maura's, "Please say it."

The second Maura could remind her lungs how to receive oxygen she gasped, "I love you. I love you-_ah_!" The blonde cried out as Jane reattached herself to her neck as she simultaneously rubbed her leg against Maura's crotch.

Jane returned to Maura's lips, mumbling, "_Again_," and moaning as the doctor's own hands found themselves up the detective's shirt and caressing her boobs.

In between kisses, the blonde wasted no time in saying _"I love you"_ over and over again until she wasn't even sure if she was actually speaking the words or merely thinking them. Jane began to grind herself onto one of Maura's thighs and the doctor could swear she could feel the brunette's heat even through her jeans.

Just the thought of Jane being hot for her caused her lower abdomen to tight and heat up; never mind including everything else the brunette was doing to her. Between her leg and her hands and her sinfully wicked mouth, Maura could feel herself quickly falling towards the edge-

And Jane hadn't even really touched her yet.

The two women rocked and moaned against eachother passionately until both let out a cry that vibrated throughout both their bodies, into eachother, and back again. With one last shudder, Jane collapsed onto Maura, just barely able to keep her full weight from smothering her. Maura in turn wrapped both her arms around the brunette possessively and rolled so that they were both laying on their sides before burying her face back into Jane's neck.

After a moment she felt rather than heard Jane chuckle, "You really like sticking you face in my neck, don'tcha?"

Maura swatted Jane's arm.

"Shut up, Jane."

* * *

**A/N: Not bad for my first semi-smut scene, if I do say so myself.**

**Please R&R.**


End file.
